The Mountain is Medicine

One upshot of moving to Scottsdale, AZ

The move to Scottsdale was mentally taxing. My gosh! The uprooting, packing, giving up being a fitness pro… Geez! I’m glad to be past that, and I’ve talked about it in my previous blogs.

But one massive upgrade was the hiking! Where we lived in Michigan doesn’t hold a candle to the hiking I’ve been able to enjoy in Scottsdale. My favorite trail? Pinnacle Peak Park–a 150-acre granite summit within the Sonoran Desert. It’s a two-hour roller-coaster of a trail that’ll leave you ogling breathtaking views of Scottsdale worth every sweat droplet spent on the slopes. And the park teems with woodrats, chuckwalla, and even gila monsters!

You get my drift… It’s fantastic!

I vividly remember a heart-thumping trek one afternoon and thinking how a trail like this one is such a beautiful metaphor of life. The ups and downs correspond to the “ups and downs of life” that we all go through: an unexpected drama or trauma, loss, an illness, an empty nest, a divorce. Fill in the blank, right? And if we choose not to climb the mountain we’re in essence choosing to sit out on our own life and cling to our comfort. That’s how people find themselves stuck! You’ve got to enjoy the process–the journey itself. 

Lots of life lessons went through my head that afternoon. Little did I know how much this metaphor would come to mean for me in the next couple of years.

I kinda forgot about that afternoon for a while because my effort for the past ten years has been kickin’ Lyme disease’s butt–did I tell you it’s officially in remission?!–but over the past weekend those images came flooding back when my yoga instructor talked about the mountain being medicine for us. You’re focusing on the steps, the trail, the ascent to the point that you block out all the noise of daily living. Gosh! It’s like adversity makes you focus so intensely on the climb that you don’t remember the negative thoughts, the to-do lists, the troubles, the pain.

The power of perspective. Amiright?!

Seeing the mountain as medicine helps you see what’s possible with the challenges you face.

Overcoming obstacles happens at every age

It’s a learned perspective, though, and here’s what I mean.

Facing tough moments and the let downs that followed were just part of life. Or at least that’s what I thought. From my dream at 8-years-old of auditioning for a kids TV show to landing a spot in an improvisational dance company to leaving behind my dream job as a “cycle star”– my belief system had prepared me to expect disappointment: “I’m never lucky!” Or “Nothing works for me like it does for others!” Or “Good luck’s for other people!” Sound familiar? 

Here are the deets.

Bubble Gum Digest was a kids TV show in Chicago. You know, kids doing the news tongue-in-cheek. They were holding auditions!! I was 8 years old,  already writing plays, performing for my family members, creating radio broadcasts–I was a perfect fit for this kids news show! So, I rush off to tell my mom how I had it all worked out. All she had to do was drive me there on “this date at this time.” Her response? 

“We’re not going to do that, Laura.” 

Without a thought. I was like “What?! I’m the kid who never asks for anything!” The good girl. The one who always made it easy for parents who were  bogged down raising 13–yes, 13!–children. But this was one thing I really, really wanted, so I continued to beg and plead, raising my voice when I felt I wasn’t being heard, and you know what happened next? I got sent up to my room for “yelling,” never to discuss Bubble Gum Digest again.

H-E-A-R-T-B-R-E-A-K-I-N-G!! 

I can’t even tell you how painful this was for a sensitive kid who had lost her father four years before, the girl who could soak up all the energy in the room–the good and the bad energies. So, what did I do? I’ll tell you! From then on, I stuffed my hurt deep down inside, thinking it was better NEVER to ask for anything than to ask and get shut down.

Not happening again. EVER!

Didn’t realize until my 50’s that I had internalized some pretty deep and self-sabotaging messages about myself in relation to my family: “It’s not about what I want; it’s about what others want or need.” This message was a virus stored deep in my operating system, infecting ALL of my programming.

Oh, life went on–it always does–but deep down the incident clawed at me, and the message I took from it became a core value. The “It’s not about what I want” belief would rear its ugly head every time I was about to push myself and level up in life.

Tracking me?

Fast-forward to my 20s when I had a once in a lifetime opportunity with a dance company in NYC. I didn’t have my parents’ emotional or financial support, so the “It’s not about what I want” belief virus killed that dream. An adverse situation that left me feeling like I had no agency.

That’s what “stinkin’ thinkin’” does.

So, I kept climbing, this time kicking butt in the fitness world, and waiting until my “It’s not about what I want” would happen again.

Going back to the trail analogy. Life went on because there are ups and downs–right?–and life forces you to identify and challenge core beliefs and thought patterns that may be holding you back. If you didn’t learn the lesson before, you’ll get another shot at it because life is constantly forcing you to challenge what you believe, why you believe it, and whether or not you need to change that belief.

Your thought patterns dictate your behavior which dictates your success. It’s all connected, isn’t it?!

Thinking of yourself as the mountain forces you to accept the reality that personal growth is an ongoing journey that requires self-awareness, commitment, and perseverance. You never graduate from the school of self-awareness. Never. And I find great comfort in the fact that you can reach new heights of personal growth and fulfillment.

You can overcome challenges at any time. 

Adversity is medicine

If life will always force you to face adversity, then the good news is that adversity is medicine. Adversity is what causes you to get off of your blessed assurance and do something meaningful. Adversity on the mountain is seeing a challenging part of the pathway ahead and believing that there is a way past it and you can do it.

It heals us.

Confession time! I haven’t always faced adversity in the best possible way. Oh, I did the best I knew to do. I certainly have compassion for the little Laura fighting against the odds, but I didn’t realize that the ways I was fighting back were actually avoiding the real challenge. I didn’t realize that there was another way, another view to be seen. In my mind, more was ALWAYS better, so I put 110% into everything I did from the time I was a young girl until my Lyme disease diagnosis at 50-years-old. Lyme disease was life’s way of forcing me to face my adversity–my belief that “It’s not what I want”–and see WHY it sucked. And learn that it wasn’t sustainable. 

The mountain is life

The mountain is life; it keeps you on your path. When you don’t take the climb–i.e., step out of your comfort zone–you start to play small, lament lost opportunities, and trudge on making dinner, washing clothes, running errands.

All the mundane aspects of your life step to the forefront. 

You never challenge yourself to break out of the rut you’ve created because you simply stopped dreaming or gave up on your dreams believing it’s too late, you’re too old, your ideas suck, you don’t have the energy, etc. Or you simply haven’t worked through and uncovered the beliefs that are holding you hostage, keeping you from ascending, from rising up to your highest potential.

Now that’s a problem, but it’s not the end. Not by a long shot!

Lyme disease made me take a turn. Not only did I hop on a path to heal my body, but I also took the hike less-traveled to heal my mindset so that I could face adversity emotionally and spiritually stronger. (You can read more about it in last month’s post “Resistance, Excuses, and Blame–Oh, My!”) At age 60 I am climbing my highest ascent yet. Not only have I built a strong coaching program, I also have created something out of nothing! It’s called AffirMotion–a mind, body, spirit workshop–and I feel more on purpose and on fire than I ever have!

Wanna know the best part?

I know I deserve to HAVE what I desire, and that's something my clients say is a strong outcome for them after Reinvention coaching. I also just got certified in a new coaching model that is a follow up to Reinvention coaching called Worthy coaching. It takes everything next level!

Here’s the key. I used to look at adversity in my life as something I had to conquer, get around, or endure. The "Life is Hard" belief ruled my life. But then a switch got flipped during the process of doing  a ton of inner work, so that I now ask, “What would life be like, Laura, if you faced your adversity from a viewpoint of faith instead of fear?”

Instead of complaining, feeling hopeless and helpless, you started your climb fueled up, fully loaded with hope, faith, and trust. That way–when you reached the highest peak–you could feel the joy and pride of your accomplishment. The mountain is just there, like adversity, whether that is life after divorce, a new life chapter, an empty nest, even a health issue. It just is. How will you face it? Will you moan and groan, give it the middle finger, and curse it OR will you allow yourself to go through and experience it?

Its trails are your way forward.

You were not meant to travel alone

Like all metaphors, “the mountain is you” metaphor has limitations. Here’s the metaphor’s breaking point: you were not meant to travel alone.

Childhood disappointments/trauma unconsciously cause you to form beliefs about yourself and dictate how you operate in the world. Those beliefs get stored in your psyche. You then believe the lies are your truth and go on living your life, unaware of those thoughts that are influencing you in the background.

This was certainly true for me!

People have said this a bunch of different ways. Aristotle, the Greek philosopher, called us “social creatures.” The most recent work by people like Dacher Keltner, a cognitive psychologist at UC Berkeley, notes that of the eight sources of awe, over half of them come from our interactions with other human beings. And duh! Look at the prominence of social media in our world. It’s taken over! Can you imagine returning to a world without Facebook or Instagram? Can you imagine going back to a life where you couldn’t share pictures of your children and grandchildren with friends from all over the world?! 

You are a social creature, not a hermit.

Oh–you may be doing your best to think that you can do it all on your own! I sure did. I wore my superwoman cape for years, but there came a time in my midlife when that “I can do it all on my own” attitude compromised my immune system and knocked me on my butt. I had to ask for help. I didn’t like it, but I had to. I couldn’t even get out of bed for months on end. Lyme disease was my perfectionism’s Waterloo.

But here’s the thing. The adversity of Lyme disease was part of my mountain. It was my medicine, and it helped me correct behaviors and beliefs that were really hindering me. I already named the “I can do it alone” behavior; it also forced me to deal with the belief that I needed to be perfect, like when guests came to visit, they had to have a particular experience and it was up to me to make sure it happened. And these are just a few of the things life confronted me with. They were hard. The adversity was real. But the adversity was ultimately an invitation to reinvent me and the way that I had been living so that I could spend the second half of my life healthier, a better version of myself.

Was it easy? Heck-to-the-no it wasn’t easy! The hardest thing I ever faced, but it was possible, and I am living proof.

The same can be true for you.

At some point in your life–if you haven’t already–you will find that the way you’ve been living life is not sustainable. To borrow the mountain imagery again: the way you’ve been hiking your mountain doesn’t work. Maybe you’re going through a divorce or are already through one. Maybe you’re feeling stuck in life! Seems like there’s no way forward or backward. That you have no agency. Maybe you’ve gotten a debilitating diagnosis like I did.

The way that you’ve been living is not going to work. You’ve got to reinvent yourself.

I will be open with my view on this ‘til the day I die: I can’t imagine where I would be mentally or physically without reinvention coaching. Talk about feeling stuck! I couldn’t get out of bed! But that physically debilitating diagnosis was indicative of debilitating beliefs–”stinkin’ thinkin’” as my friend Julie Jones calls it. I’m sure the doctors could have gotten my body back to where I could walk again, but how much time would have passed before I was back on my butt because of my limiting beliefs? Beliefs that blamed the universe for my troubles. Beliefs that I had to perfect. Beliefs that screwed with my way of relating to those who were dearest to me.

I don’t want to think where I’d be without reinvention coaching. It’s for that very reason I became a reinvention coach. When you find something life-changing, you want to make it happen for others.

When I climb the mountain I am fueled by my self-worth, self-love and self-trust and I go for my dreams. I course-correct when necessary but I keep reinventing my life every step of the way as I unfold new ways of being and connecting with my desires.

I’m addicted to the climb.

Contact me at hello@lauraenzor.com if all this resonates with you.

Or go ahead and book a discovery call- it’s free! We can chat about what you’re grappling with and where you want to go.